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Do not let people tell you that this is the "Yetzer Horah" talking. Go to a health food store and get yourself some L-lysine, mg capsules or pills. I'm going to add another part to my post shortly I am in a similar tenuous position about Judaism as you are. It will only be once you become comfortable and familiar with sex, and with your partner, that you will start to enjoy the act itself. If being with someone really makes you feel bad, you should stop; when it comes to sex you never owe anybody anything but basic decency. I feel like I felt similarly to you a few years ago even though I was younger , but don't want to post for the whole world to see.
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